Thursday, July 30, 2015

The 5 Senses //

8:49:00 PM
Things I Enjoy Most About Each of the 5 Senses:

Sight: staring at sunrises and sunsets, looking into the eyes of a lover, pretty beds, analyzing art, stargazing late at night, watching 80s movies, & reading a good book. //

Sound: listening to thunderstorms, hearing a newborn baby cry, the ticking of clocks, instrumental music, laughter, cars passing New York City streets, concerts & good conversations. //

Touch: the softness of pillows, petting an animal, the feeling of sand between my toes, & feeling a heartbeat as I hold a special someone close. //

Smell: the scent of strong coffee, the grass after it rains, expensive cologne, the scent that fills my room when I burn candles, fresh flowers & grammie's apple pie. //

Taste: the taste of lips, good coffee, rich dark chocolate as it melts in my mouth, the taste of Chipotle burritos, & swishing mouthwash before I go to bed. //

Indescribable Feelings: 

~Looking at your best friend and trying to refrain from laughter at inappropriate moments
~When that person you've been crushing on for a while starts to notice you
~Meeting up with someone you haven't seen in a while, but talking like you saw eachother yesterday
~Seeing your favorite band perform live
~Having random conversations with people on the train, and realizing you may never see them again
~Laying with your lover at night, slowly starting to forget the world....

BEAUTY IS EVERYWHERE, BUT DO NOT TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED .xoxo


F*R*I*E*N*D*S
SUNRISE * SUNSET

 *SAND BENEATH YOUR FEET *
 *WANDERING AN ART MUSEUM *
SUNRISE * SUNSET


Saturday, July 25, 2015

Carpe Diem, Bitch //

9:47:00 PM
Wowie wow wow. Where do I even begin? I rolled out of bed this morning around noon (which was a much needed moment of self-love), and as soon as I woke up, I immediately began getting ready for what (little did I know) was going to be one of the most beautiful days I've ever experienced. //

Last night, my dad showed me this cool place he had found online, at which point we decided we should visit as soon as possible (just so you know, ASAP means the next day for us). So, I woke up this afternoon knowing that just as soon as I was done getting ready, we'd head out for Restoration Resources. Even though we didn't buy anything today, everything there is so unique and would be quite the addition to any home, so we do plan on going back. Plus, you can rent props from there, AND they have areas that you can rent for photography projects (Fall 2015 collection shoot? I think yes). I brought my camera and got some great shots there, and also on the ride home, so it was a successful trip. My sister then suggested we go to Blue Hills to see if we can spot any deer and/or take photographs of the Boston skyline. We decided it'd be best if we waited til dusk to do that, so we returned home for a bit. //

Next came the "low point" of my day (which truth be told wasn't even low at all). I sat in my room for a while, scrolling through the "astrology" tag on tumblr. I then realized that I want to be a productive human being, and that scrolling through such tags did not really fit the category of "productive." So, I googled a list of things to do when you're bored, and saw "CLEAN, it'll make you feel good." I didn't think that cleaning would make me feel good, but my room was a mess so I decided to do it anyway. I was pleasantly surprised at how energized and refreshed the cleaned room made me feel. My room is so pretty right now ahhhh! *insert heart eyes emoji*
While all this was happening, my dad was making us dinner (spaghetti w/ marinara sauce and garlic bread). I went down and ate, and then we all got ready to head out. //

Unfortunately, we didn't see any deer tonight, but the scenery and fresh air was enough to satisfy me. There's something about being in the stillness of nature that I have always loved, and getting to feel that today was a wonderful treat for my soul. We sat on this little brick wall for about a half hour, and then realized that we were all hungry af. We returned home, but only to go to the Clam Box, which is a little seafood place on the shore near where we live. We just got little appetizer things, like fries and mozzarella sticks.
I thought that the night was going to be over here, but on our way home, my dad asked "Do you guys want to go home or just take a drive?" Obviously, my sister and I wanted to take a ride around, so we just drove. There was no destination in mind. We cranked up the radio (which was playing classical piano pieces-- no hate plz it's very relaxing). I had no idea where we were, but there was a beach, and the sunset looked gorgeous over the water. So we got out, and my sister and I took photos of each other and the beach. We waded in the water. The water was warm. The waves were slow. You could feel the salt in the air. I loved the feeling of the sand between my toes. Everything was so simple. Everything felt so right. //

Finally, we realized it was almost 9:00, so we decided it'd be best to get home soon. We loaded ourselves into the car, and got less than a mile when my dad and I decided now would be a great time for coffee. We pulled over to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts (because Boston, ya know?) I got a small hot french vanilla coffee with skim milk, because it was getting kind of chilly outside, which most people would be upset about. But I love the cold. I like it when I get to wear sweaters and cute fuzzy socks. The crisp, cool air reminded me that fall is on it's way, putting a smile on my face. Though the ride home was silent between us all, I could feel the happiness of my family filling our entire car.

I am currently listening to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack on my record player, and reminiscing on the wonderful day I had, and all of the positive vibes that go along with it. I'm really happy right now. I seized the day, and made it something wonderful for myself. Carpe diem, bitch. //

pisces // dream house includes columns & potted plants
pisces // addicted to fairy lights & chocolate



























Monday, July 20, 2015

Oh, for Fashion's Sake! //

11:13:00 AM
Sundays are perhaps my favorite day of the week. Let me tell you why: my family and I leave the house around 8 am, and we go out for breakfast before church. Then, after church is done, we always try to do something other than sitting around in the house (assuming my sister and I don't have any homework to get done). More often than not, this activity is going into Boston and just kind-of wandering around for hours in the city, and this was the case yesterday. Since we have a membership to the Museum of Fine Arts (MFA), we decided to start the afternoon with visiting the museum. We decided to play the rest of the day by ear, and that ended up with us in the North End eating pizza, and then playing in the fountains at the Rose Kennedy Greenway (because you're never too old to play in fountains). Now, if you follow me on twitter, you may have seen me tweet out "when you know the shoes are gonna be uncomfortable but you wear them anyway because they please you aesthetically." Obviously, I knew that this trip entailed lots of walking, but I nonetheless, I wore three inch wedged heels because they looked so cute with my outfit, and, to put it frankly, I SLAY in them. Of course there are blisters all over my feet now but I do it for fashion's sake, and I regret nothing. //













WHERE TO SHOP THIS LOOK:
-Dress (technically a shirt but I'm just really short): Brandy Melville ($23)
-Bag: Marshall's (Nine West Brand)
-Hat: Aldo ($20)
-Shoes: Payless (American Eagle Brand)
-Pocketwatch Necklace: Claire's ($13)
-Choker: Brandy Melville ($5)



Generic "I Went to the MFA" Photo











Saturday, July 18, 2015

My NSLC Experience //

4:52:00 PM
12 days in New York City, 10 of which were spent at the wonderful NSLC (National Student Leadership Conference). Not to be too cliche, but in simple terms, it changed my life. I cannot say enough good things about my experience. I learned so much both about theatre and how to be a better leader in society, and I walked out a completely different person than I was when I first arrived at NSLC 2 weeks ago. There are too many things that I cannot possibly write about them all, but I will try to cover as many as possible in this post. Where do I begin? //

Day 1: I arrived in New York City with my mom and younger sister Abby. We took the bus in, which was pretty alright. We first sought out lunch, and found a cute vegan place that had some good ass tacos. Later that afternoon, we went to the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), followed by dinner at a place called Ellen's Stardust Diner, where the waitstaff sings and give some performances as they serve you food (ya know, they're waiting for their big break on Broadway and stuff). The food was mediocre, but it seems like a cool place to work while in college and trying to make money purely off talent. We then went home and I went to bed, because I had gotten up at like, 5:45 am and was super worn out from the long but satisfying day 1 in NYC. //

Day 2: We were able to sleep in a little bit, but needed to be up and out around 9:00 so that we could get breakfast and arrive at the Central Park Zoo around 10:00 and beat the crowds. Breakfast was expensive, but delicious. I got a berry filled crêpe and some coffee. The zoo was quite nice, I mean, as zoos go. Visiting the zoo was something my sister wanted to do, so seeing her happy and taking photos and enjoying her time was nice. Next came one of my favorite parts: shopping in Times Square! (A haul video may or may not be coming your way on the YouTube...) Anyway, I ended up purchasing items at both Uniqlo and Topshop. Immediately after this, we went to a restaurant called Bucca de Beppo for dinner, which has kind-of become a family NYC tradition. I'm pretty sure we've eaten there once every time we go to the city. Finally, we saw the Broadway production of Kinky Boots. Seeing as I love theatre in general, there is never going to be a Broadway show that I don't like. With that being said, Kinky Boots had really good messages, some strong musical numbers (Not My Father's Son), and amazing dancing, but it was not one of my all-time favorites. It was definitely worth going though, and was a good way to end day 2 in NYC. //

Day 3: This was the day I got to go to NSLC! When we first woke up in the morning, my family and I went out for breakfast to a little diner, then went back to the hotel and watched an episode of Law & Order: SVU (the last episode I'd be able to watch for over a week). We then proceeded to walk down to the campus of Fordham University at Lincoln Center. I signed in, went up to my temporary dorm, and began unpacking. I realized I forgot hangers, so my mom had to take me to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick some up. As soon as I was done hanging up my clothes, I went down to a luncheon that was happening for the NSLC and leT ME TELL YOU, it was one of the most terrifying things ever. I walked in, and there in a large room was a bunch of girls already sitting and deeply engrossed in conversation. I recognized a couple of them from a group chat we had been in on Facebook, and they seemed to recognize me, so they all said hi and we made acquaintance, and it ended up being alright. A few of us then hung out in someone's dorm, and then went on a tour of the campus, making things seem a lot less scary. Next, we met in our TA groups, and that's where I met Liv (my TA), and most of the other friends I made in the 10 days. Our first meeting was just a lot of "Hi I'm _______, and here's this interesting fact about me:______."  Liv had us begin this thing called "Why Am I Here," and every day, we'd have to state why we were here at this point in our lives (and I noticed that from day 1 to day 10, I grew as a person, so I'll be writing those in this post.) It was good to be a part of a smaller group, and it made me feel slightly more secure. Finally, we had the "opening ceremony" and dinner, then I went to bed feeling a bit uneasy, but mostly very excited about what was in store during my time at NSLC. ~ I'm here because I got a letter in the mail, and I wanted to see what it was about and experience something new. //

Day 4: We began the day with a ropes course, which I had expected to not enjoy at all. However, I was pleasantly surprised. The course was doable, and I realized I enjoyed the group of people that I was with. In my TA group, there were two people who I found out lived in towns very close to mine, and I realized had a great time getting to know them and everyone else in the group. It didn't feel like we were at the course for very long at all, because I liked the friends I was making. On the downside however, the bus ride to and from was 6 hours in total, which was completely exhausting. Once we got back to Fordham, we basically only had time for one TA meeting and dinner before retreating to our rooms, because it was so late when we returned. I went to bed knowing that there were some pretty amazing things in store, and I was super excited to wake up the next morning. ~ I'm here because now that I know everyone, I'm excited to get our show underway and experience NSLC with cool new friends. //

Day 5: This was only day 3 of my NSLC experience, but it had already proven to be one of the most magical experiences of my life. I was fortunate enough to spend the morning here at the Manhattan Theatre Club (MTC), and receive lectures from professionals in the industry. Stage and production managers, directors, playwrights, artistic leaders, and a variety of designers took the time out of their hectic schedules to talk with theatre students about so many different aspects of production. Talking with and listening to these professionals was both a humbling experience, and also one that made me realize this crazy dream is kind-of more possible than I thought. All of these wonderful men and women are normal people, and seeing that was so so amazing. Following this, I was lucky enough to see the incredible Broadway production of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime which was absolutely phenomenal. I cannot say enough good things about it, and it is quite literally the BEST show I have ever seen. And if that wasn't cool enough in itself, afterward, the actors came back out onto the stage and the members of NSLC were able to have a talkback session in which the actors told us about their experiences with this show and acting in general. Again, the experience was very humbling, but also filled me with so much excitement and hope for the future. All of the cast members are so down-to-Earth, and are just normal people. They get distracted playing with confetti left on the stage and take off their shoes after a long show. Even though I don't personally know any of the professionals, I felt connected to each and every one of them in a special way, and I am more than thankful for the advice and tips that they were able to provide me with. I knew that I had an excellent week in store. ~ I'm here because I want to do theatre for the rest of my life. //

Day 6: We began day 6 with a TA meeting, in which each group was given the scripts of the show we were to perform later that week. My group was given "The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet." Next, we had an acting masterclass with Mark Schneider, which was amazing. I learned so much about acting just by listening to him speak and go over monologues with students. The workshop made it feel like I was in a professional acting setting, which is something that I've never had before, and I'm thankful that I was able to work with an industry professional. Next, we had a meeting with Craig Wroe, who gave a lecture called "Business of the Business," and basically told us what it's really like to live in New York City and make a living as an actor. I had expected him to complain about how awful life is and how poor he is, but I was pleasantly surprised when Mr. Wroe told us to focus on the positives, because it is possible to live out our dreams (despite the fact that there are 89,000 unemployed actors in NYC). His words and overall conduct was inspiring to me. Finally, after dinner, we went to a leadership session in conflict resolution, in which I had to evaluate myself and figure out some not-so-positive traits that I possess. It was a learning and growing experience for all of us on personal levels. Immediately following that, we closed the night with one of my favorite activities of the whole trip, which was called Dyadic Encounter. Here, each person was paired up with someone else, and for me, it was someone who I didn't know very well at all. We were given a paper with questions on it, and we were given 90 minutes to sit down and answer the 24 questions. The cool thing about this, however, was that the open-ended questions led to deeper conversation, and I let some things off my chest to this stranger. These were things I've never really talked about to anyone. And I don't know how it happened. We didn't even get to answer all of the questions, because we had gone off in a completely different conversation and lost track of time just enjoying one another's company. Spilling all my secrets and engaging in deep conversation with someone I hardly know is something I would never do on my own, but the experience was so so incredibly rewarding. I realized that this girl I was talking to had a lot of the same goals, aspirations, fears and failures as I did. It was a profound moment when I realized what it actually means to be human. I learned a lot about this other person, but also a lot more about myself. I know that I may not ever talk to her again, but it's okay, because for that moment, we had a connection, and it was beautiful, and a life-changing moment that I will never forget. ~ I'm here to take initiative and control of my life in order to become who I want to be and do what I want to do. //

Day 7: We were supposed to have a lecture in the morning about designing, modeling, and creating our shows, but unfortunately Mr. James FitzSimmons (our theatre professor for the week and also producer of Hand to God) was sick, so he couldn't make it in. We used that time instead to work in our TA groups and create our show. I was an actor and also part of the costume design team (go figure), so my time was mostly spent reading lines or sketching little Dr. Seuss-esque outfits. We then went to 2 of the 4 TA-taught workshops we would be participating in this week. Mine were "Intro to Playwriting" and "So You Think You Can Dance?" The playwriting class was very interesting to me, because writing (both books and plays), has always  been something I've wanted to do, but I've never really known how to push through and keep working on the story without getting frustrated. This workshop was a neat way to get me introduced to the basics of playwriting and teach me how I can go about turning my ideas into written works. In the dance class, we were given basic choreography to learn, much like we would be given at an audition. It was simple to perform, but still was fun. I've always loved dancing and have been taking dance classes for many years, so being in that class, even if it was just an hour and 15 minutes, made me feel comfortable and at home. Finally, we had a college panel, which was basically when we got to ask our TAs about any and all aspects of college. Although I've put a bit of thought into college (I am after all only a sophomore), I know that next year I'll actually have to start looking and applying places, so I feel as though this panel was very beneficial. After, we had another TA meeting in which we worked on our show, ate food, and sang songs. It was a fun and lighthearted way to end the night. ~ I'm here because I'm excited to create my own show and work on the areas of theatre that I have not done before. //

Day 8: The first thing I thought when I woke up was, "Holy shit, we have free time today!" because, as you may have been able to gather from reading this post, free time came far and in-between. After breakfast, we went to a short 45-minute long TA meeting, in which we just checked in on our progress. We then boarded a bus and headed into Greenwich Village, which is absolutely gorgeous! I took a lot of pictures during free time (which you can see on my instagram), found a cute little bakery where I got some macarons, and went shopping. Free time was over at 2 pm, and we headed into the a theater to see an Off-Broadway show called The Flick. Personally, I thought the show was really really amazing, even though it didn't have the typical over-the-top and intense style of Broadway. The show only had 4 characters (and one character had a total of 6 minutes of stage time), and it was "real." As an audience member, you feel as though you're just watching normal people go about their daily routines, and interact with other people. The emotions seem raw and real, and to an audience member, it makes you a bit uncomfortable, as if you've walked in to an awkward moment and are violating privacy. With every character, there is a time when you love them, and a time when you hate them. There is no "hero" of the story, but rather a bunch of humans who play different parts in each other's lives. Needless to say, I was very moved by the show, and the ending really left me with a lot to think about (as you can see, it's even difficult for me to form coherent sentences about the show). It was amazing and I highly recommend. After the show, we boarded the bus again and returned to Fordham. We had a movie night and watched Footloose, but I had a wicked bad head ache and was so exhausted that I left early to get to bed. It was a great day. ~ I'm here to have profound moments that I feel move me. //


Day 9: Thankfully when I woke up, my headache from the night before had disappeared. Immediately after breakfast we had our 3rd TA-taught workshop of the 4. The one I went to was called "Auditioning 101." I remember that the workshop started out with an instrumental piece being played, and we all had to just walk around the room and zone out. We retreated into our own worlds as the TA gave us a scenario to place ourselves in. It was quite relaxing, and I found it so amazing that by listening to a song and imagining, I could, like, physically feel the heat of the sun on my back, or cold water on my toes as I stepped into a stream. I retreated into my own world, and knew that nobody else was there in that world, and that I could be whoever I wanted. This technique is great for "becoming" a character, or stepping into their life and situation for a while. After this, we did some energy and focus-building warm-ups that are great to do before an audition. Finally, we went over small things that you can do to prepare yourself for an audition, and how to feel confident walking into the room. Despite the fact that I have auditioned for different projects at many different times, the workshop was a good reminder and confidence builder for future auditions. Next, we had a management/casting panel with professionals in the industry, which I didn't like as much as some of the other panels. I think the reason for this is because I was totally exhausted and was having trouble keeping my eyes open. Even so, this panel of people gave us information on how to get managers and agents, told us what things are necessary for an acting career, and made it very clear that headshots are important. The panel was helpful and had a lot of insider information that is beneficial to anyone who wants to make it in the acting business. Later, we had a leadership series, which was called "Commitment in Action." The room was set up so that there was a "runway" of tape, and chairs on either side of it. Our job was to walk through the tape lines in a creative way, and we had to use the same method from start to finish. We had to commit to it. Following this, we had to fill out little "agreements," stating what kind of leader we aspire to be. We then had to get a witness to sign it; someone who would hold us accountable for the promise we made. I felt like the commitment exercise was not only beneficial to my growth as a leader and human in society, but also to my growth as a performer. I know that I have to commit to this job, and commit to my choices. If acting is not my passion, I shouldn't do it. Commitment is key, in everything. Finally, to close off the night we had a karaoke night, which was fun (but again, I left early to take my shower before my roomate/suitemates got back). ~ I'm here because I absolutely love what I'm doing. //

Day 10: Much like day 9, this day began with the last TA-taught workshop. This one was called "Acting, Movement, & the Ensemble." This workshop had a lot to do with making choices based on other people's actions. We had to really feel each other out and take energy from one another, which is always important when on stage. The exercises in this workshop were really good at getting us all connected and teaching us how we can interact and become one with each other. Next, we went to the acting panel, which I think was my favorite panel to attend, because I am most interested in being an actor. Basically, we talked with wonderful performers who have been in Broadway, Off-Broadway, and other productions around New York, and they just told us about the daily life of an actor. They informed us of an actors hectic and ever-changing schedules, as well as how they can transition into and out of character, manage 8 shows a week, stay inspired, and make enough money to pay rent. There wasn't really one specific topic we talked about. The actors simply told us true facts about living as an actor, and it was once again a humbling experience to listen to these normal people talk about this life that they worked so hard to create for themselves. I see that it is possible to live out my crazy dream if I work hard enough. Lunch came next, and then we had a Shakespeare Forum, in which we learned how to read, understand, and begin to act out Shakespeare's work. While I enjoyed this, it seemed very similar to what we learned in English class last year (which isn't bad at all, just a bit redundant). It was still a good experience though. Finally, we walked down to Times Square, and had a  few hours of free time, which I spent shopping and getting pizza, before we saw On The Town. Compared to the other two shows we had seen, On The Town was lacking in moral value, and there wasn't really anything to take from it. However, it was a big showstopping Broadway production, and I thoroughly enjoyed the singing, dancing, and half-naked men on stage. If you're in to huge productions and the "classic Broadway musical" feel, this show is definitely one for you. After the show, we got back on the bus, returned to Fordham, and went to bed. ~ I'm here to experience deep moments and reshape my entire way of thinking in order to follow my dreams and live my life. //

Day 11: I remember thinking, "This is it." This was the last full day I was going to be able to spend here. Right after breakfast, we had our final rehearsals of our show. The pressure was on. After lunch, it was time to present our concepts and designs to our peers, our TAs, and Mr. FitzSimmons. It wasn't anything too exciting if I'm being completely honest. After that, we all performed our shows for one another, and though I always enjoy performing, I wasn't really a fan of the Seussification of Romeo and Juliet, so, like, it was just alright. I really enjoyed watching the other groups, and it was cool to see what everyone else had been working on throughout the week. We then had dinner, and then our final leadership series, called "What I Discovered." Just as the title says, in this session people were able to stand up and share what they had discovered during their 10 days at NSLC. There was a lot of crying and hugging and it made me really sad because it wasn't really until that moment that I realized I'd be leaving tomorrow. There were so many different emotions in the room, ranging from contentment and gratefulness to fear and vulnerability. Thankfully, the tears and extreme emotions didn't last for long! The final event of the night was the "NSLC Tonie Awards," followed by a dance/social/Tonie afterparty thing. We all got to get dressed up and drink sparkling cider from plastic champagne glasses and win awards for the shows we did. My design team and I won an award for our costuming, and the lightning designer, sound designer, and set designer won awards too. It was quite magical, even though it wasn't the real Tonys, it felt wonderful to have your work and creative vision recognized by others. The social was fun, and I danced a lot. Which was weird, because usually at informal dances I'm an awkward lump who just sits in the corner and eats food. I think that my willingness to just get up and let lose was just a small example of how NSLC changed my life, and gave me so much more confidence in myself in just 10 days. ~ I'm here because this is our last full day together, and I want to make the most of it and put on a great show with the people I love. //

Day 12: I think compared to the rest of my time at NSLC, this day was both the easiest and the hardest, for different reasons. It was the easiest in that we only attended the Closing Ceremony and a final TA meeting, and then we could go home. It was a low-key and not busy day, so in that sense it was easy. I was looking forward to home, and knew that I would be going to a familiar place, which felt easier than when I had first arrived at NSLC.  However, it was the hardest day because I had also grown familiar with Fordham University, and had created a second family with all of the wonderful people I had lived with for 10 days. There was a lot of crying and nostalgic memories, which I was not expecting would happen back on day 1. If you had told me I would grow so attached to these people and make best friends in just 10 days, I'd tell you that you are completely out of your mind. Yet that's what happened, and it was hard to leave. One of the last things Liv said to us was, "If you miss people, it means that you're living your own life, and that's a good thing."Those are words I'll never forget. Seeing and experiencing the world and all it has to offer sometimes means leaving the people you love, but it's okay to go live your life. You don't have to say goodbye; just see you later.  ~ I'm here because now, I don't want to leave. I've made some amazing friends while here, and learned that it's okay to love who I am and accept challenges that come my way. I have been changed for good, and I don't want this to end. //

~ fashion, food, art, travel, & adventure ~

Contact

milla.barker.99@gmail.com