And I guess that pretty much covers it all. So, without further ado, here comes the Spain blogging experience:

Sunday, August 14: I hopped on the plane at BOS with a dream in my cardigan… then flew for 6 hours to Dublin where I had a 9 hour layover. I traveled with 2 of my friends, and one of these friends has family in Dublin. So we met up with them and had breakfast, then went on a bus tour for the day. Despite my exhaustion, I tried to keep my eyes peeled open long enough to see each brick building with its rooftop garden, and to become immersed in a rich history that was not my own. Time flew by, and before I knew it I woke up to find myself on the roof of a bus, my friend Emma telling me it was time to leave. We traveled back to the airport, then proceeded to take another 2 hour flight from Dublin to Madrid. Since our flight out of Boston was very late at night, somewhere along the way, it had become Monday morning. //


Monday, August 15: I started the week in a brand new place. Needless to say, I was incredibly exhausted and smelled disgusting. I'd gone almost a full day just sweating, without access to a shower, and surrounded by cheap airline food. The 6-hour time difference between Boston and Madrid was brutal. After running a 17-hour day, turns out it was only like, 4 pm. The family am staying with live in Zaragoza, which is about 4 hours away from Madrid. If we were heading straight home like my friends and their host families were, I probably would have died. Luckily, my hosts had rented an apartment in Madrid where we would stay until Friday. As soon as we got there, we ate some dinner (in Spain they eat around 10 pm. The first few days two weeks, this was incredibly difficult for me, because my family eats wicked early, even for the US. I was waiting legit 5 hours past my dinner time to eat). And then I crashed, sadly with the knowledge that I'd have to get up early the next morning with jet lag slowly eating away at my soul. //

Tuesday, August 16: The first day in Madrid was magical, despite the fact that my insides still felt like death and that my brain was not fully functioning due to my immense sleep deprivation. We visited El Palacio Real, and Almudena Cathedral on this first day. Basically, there are no palaces in the United States, and Cathedrals are present, but are rarely to the same size and caliber as those in Europe. These sights were absolutely amazing and completely breathtaking. Colors of gold and royal blues danced along the walls and ceilings; tapestries in every color elegantly hugged the spaces between doorways and windows; lengthy hallways and grand staircases made me feel like I was a Disney princess. If only I had been allowed to take photos! My words could never live up to the way it actually feels to walk through the rooms; filled with art and culture and a rich history; becoming part of something so unfamiliar yet so amazing. Of course, even while internationally traveling, I succumb to capitalism and the fast fashion industry. We visited Gran Via, and there was a huge H&M set up in what used to be a beautiful hotel, and a Primark that was 4 stories tall. //
















Wednesday, August 17: The beauty of Madrid continued to expose itself, as this day we went to the palace in Aranjuez. Much like El Palacio Real, shades of gold and blue covered the whole palace, and it was larger than any place I'd ever been. However, this one was slightly smaller and more simple than the extravagance of El Palacio Real. Again, we weren't allowed to take photos, which really bothers me (because I think art, culture, and history are some of the most important things for humans to share with one another. Some people will never have the opportunity to visit these famous sites, and I do really believe that photos and videos and other mediums should be available to them.) One of my favorite aspects of the palace in Aranjuez was a large room where they had a glass case filled with gowns that the royal family of Spain had worn. These were some of the most beautiful and intricate pieces of clothing I had ever seen. Long trains and silver sequins lined high lacy necklines and tight waists. So. Gorgeous. Later this day, we also went on a tour bus, much like the one in Dublin. The city was dark, with the exception of lights bleeding into the sky from tall buildings. It was so refreshing to travel around a new place, with cool air whipping across my face. Of course, I was still super jet-lagged, and crashed the moment we stepped foot back in the apartment. //

Next, we headed further down the island to a long stretch of desert land right next to the water. I struggle to call this area a "beach," since the ground was not sandy, but rather rocky and covered in cacti. Still, I loved it. When you finally take the time to just sit in the stillness and silence of the world around you, you notice so many things that seem insignificant to many people. Like the way the tide pulls in and then wades out, and the way the wind carries itself lightly through your hair, and the way it feels when you smile for no particular reason, while also recognizing how great it is to be alive, perhaps recognizing this for the first time in a while.

On a different day at a different time, a similar feeling was experienced as I sat on the very edge of a rocky cliff, this time on the other side of the island, knowing that one wrong move could result in me falling into the crashing waves. Even from this location high above the ocean, I could still feel the icy water hitting my skin, and even sometimes drenching my hair and clothes. It was a great relief from the oppressive heat around me. Sitting in complete silence with the exception of the crashing of waves and light gusts of wind, gave my mind time to relax and clear itself. This salty body of water is greater than me; than you; than all of us. And while it is a beautiful thing to know that the Earth is so complex, it also brings the bittersweet remembrance that you are nothing, and that the forces of nature will always be greater than man.  

Later on that night, we returned to the resort, and walked along a path by the ocean. In a small oceanic alcove, there was a collection of fish, crabs, and little octopi. I have never seen a real life octopus! It was really cool!!
It's these adventures into the middle of vast nowheres that matter the most. The ones where we find ourselves alone with our own minds, but also so closely linked to the ecosystems and circles present in the world. Our society fears this idea of being "alone." We are always linked together somehow, whether it be Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or another form of social media. Everyone can always know what we're doing exactly when we're doing it. And while I do believe that staying connected, and of course sharing your passions and significant, meaningful moments are important things, I also believe that it is important to go out and be alone. It is important to, even if for a few moments, disconnect yourself from the manmade world and it's society. Don't worry, you won't really be alone; you'll be a part of this huge ecosystem of plants, animals, and other things that are even better than people. //

This definition, I feel, fits the things I have been feeling and doing over the last couple of weeks, and especially so within the last couple of days. There have been so many things that I had been putting off and procrastinating on for the longest time, and out of nowhere, I would get unprecedented urges to do those things. 

One of these things is cutting my hair. For the longest time, my hair has had nearly 6 inches of dead ends, and I'd been thinking about cutting it for a long while. But it was an on-and-off kind of thing, and whenever I decided to chop it, I'd think about how I wouldnt be able to put it in cute braids and wrap it around my head, or how it wouldn't fall softly down my back, and how I wouldn't be mermaid all the time (update: I am still a mermaid). However, yesterday, I felt the desire to cut it, and went out and did it right then. I didn't give myself the time to second guess it this time; I just dove right in and did it. That felt so good. //

Physically, my hair is healthier, as I no longer have 6 inches of dead, dry, mangled knots. It is sleek and shiny, and bounces in a new way. I love the way I can run my fingers through it without getting tangled up in a bunch of knots, and I love being able to fling it around and feel it's lightness, and let it bounce ever so slightly up to my ears and back down to my shoulders wheere it lays. It's not heavy and bogged down by the weight of it's own curls; it seems to have a new life to it. And, of course, it looks so good, if i do say so myself. 

Emotionally, I somewhat feel as though I am "new." Not a whole new person altogether; I'm not suggesting that this haircut was a significant, life-changing moment, however, I feel refreshed. The change, although small, is good. And the feeling of being spontaneous; just going out and diving headfirst into something I had been hesistant about for quite a while, was both inspiring and uplifting. Detaching myself from something that I'd admired so much- to the point where I even adopted it as a part of me- was like shedding this exterior, and alleviating fears that I didn't even know existed. I didn't realize it before I cut my hair, but after I cut it, I realized that it was this unecessary thing that I was holding on to, solely because I had adopted it as part of my identity and used it to, in a way, hide behind. By maintaining a constant look, and sticking to normalcy, I was able to become invisible whenever I wanted to. If I was ever feeling down about where I was in life, I would look to my long locks as a sign of beauty and vanity. My hair was something that acted as a security blanket for me, and I realized that that was why I was so afraid to lose it all. //

Your physical exterior- hair, blood, flesh, and bones- are not what define your soul. Your body is merely an earthly container for something so much more vast and cosmic and magical than that. Go out and shake things up sometimes. It won't hurt; I promise. Change things, and notice how alive you feel when you realize that you can literally change anything physically, but all the while you are fundamentally, beautifully, completely you. Think about how your physical traits; how you look and how you dress; mean nothing. You can look however you want and dress however you want and do your makeup however you want; it does not define you. Do not be afraid to break barriers or step out of your comfort zone. You'll be glad you did. //

 

3.) Your internal monologue is constantly, "omgomgwhat if i say something stupid what if they think i'm weird what if i come across as creepy what if i'm being too clingy what if i'm being too distant do you think i'm being nice enough do you think they like me omgomg"

Don't let anyone shame you into doing something you don't want to. Don't let anyone shame you out of doing something you love. Don't let anyone shame you. Nobody else is any better than you. We're all fucked up human beings, trying to exist in this complex dynamo that is the universe. If you want to date someone, do it. If you don't want to date anyone, don't. If you want to have sex, DO IT. If you're uncomfortable with that, abstain. You are a powerful lioness and must remember that nobody can shame you or make you inferior without your consent.



High school is brutal, let's be real. But you can make it through. Find a class you love. Join a club that sets your soul on fire. Practice your passions. Spend these tough few years exploring new possibilities and doing everything that you love. Try to make the most out of this time being the best you can be. If you can fill your life up with things that make your heart overflow with love, you'll easily survive the dangerous jungle of high school.

Be kind to one another. Empower your sisters. Respect your mothers, aunts, grandmothers. Women have worked so hard to be where we are today, and as a young woman, it is your duty to respect those who came before you, and all that they went through to make your life beautiful. Women are magical. Women are beautiful. Let's stop hating one another and pitting girls against one another. Love and support your fellow females.

Dream big. Set goals for yourself and follow through with them. You can be anything you want to be if you just put in the time. It requires blood, sweat, and tears, but if anyone can accomplish your dream, its YOU. You have the willpower. You have the strength. You can be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire. Dream big and work hard, and your wildest fantasies will come true.



Dear Girl, what I am about to say next is, perhaps, the most important message of all. I cannot reiterate this enough:

You are beautiful. You are so so beautiful, inside and out. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Your mind is gorgeous as the sun setting over still waters. Your heart is as lovely as the first feelings of spring, that leave goosebumps on your arms and a light smile plastered across your face. Your soul is more beautiful than even the northern lights, and breathes passion in everything you do. Your body is a temple, and your heart is a sanctuary. You are a fucking goddess.

Dear Girl, I love you.

xoxo -em

So, this look is inspired primarily from one of my favorite style bloggers, Lindsey. (located at http://www.ali0nated.com). Her style is very vintage feeling, and is primarily in muted tones; deep browns, greens, mustard yellows, blacks; and she has signature glasses and long brown hair. // 

To emulate her look but also add my own flair, I used a mustard yellow sweater, a vintage style denim skirt, loafer-styled heels, some frilly vintage socks, and my glasses (quite similar to Lindsey's). 

Lindsey also often wears a dark lip to compliment the color scheme of her outfits, and I attempted to do the same with this NYC lipstick. //

WHERE TO SHOP THIS LOOK: 

Mustard Cardigan: Free People

Denim Skirt: Urban Outfitters

White Tank: H&M

Ruffled Socks: Urban Outfitters

Shoes: Payless Shoesource

Scrunchie: Forever 21

Necklace: Claire's