Despite this, the show was amazing, and I had a simply wonderful time. Before the show my friends and I bought a (really shitty) pizza, some mediocre nachos, and overpriced soda. The first act was Augustana, and I didn't even know he was performing so I was SUPER STOKED about him. Next came Icona Pop. Surprisingly, I liked them a lot. I hadn't really listened to them before, and I was kinda just indifferent to them, but now I think I can call myself an Icona Pop fan. The girls are great performers, and reminded me a bit of Halsey (whom i love!)
Then, of course, the highlight of my night happened. One Direction (or I guess 4/5 of One Direction) came onstage and sang their hearts out. They sang the songs from FOUR, Midnight Memories, and even some fetus songs from Take Me Home (I cried). About halfway through the night, it started raining. I don't know about you, but to me, rain is the best kind of weather. It feels kind of magical; the breeze through your hair, the cool hint of rain on your skin, sending chills down your spine. You find yourself longing for someone, or something, to keep you warm. Then, in this case, you look at those guys performing in front of you. You're on your toes. It's all so exciting, and the mix of rain-lover feels and directioner feels put me in this really emotionally unstable place where I felt like I was going to start sobbing at any minute, and not just sad tears. I was feeling all kinds of feelings. FAR TOO MANY FEELINGS. Then, to make it worse, at the end of the concert, Harry said "Thank you all for joining us on our last. North. American. Tour." He didn't say "for a while" or "of this tour." Oh no, Harry Styles said the last. //
And then I think I lost it entirely. I know it sounds really dumb and even quite immature, but I've seen these guys grow up. We've grown up together. When I was entering middle school, these 5 idiots from the U.K. were starting as a band called One Direction. The released all this tweeny bopper music that I listened to religiously. As I went through that awkward middle school phase of my life, those boys were there, with their music and positivity and acceptance that I was seeking. Even though I didn't know them, they were always there.
Then high school came along, and I made some new discoveries about myself and the world. I am definitely different than I was when I was 12. I've made mistakes, formed new opinions, and have grown as a person. And right there, in a parallel life, the boys of One Direction were growing up, changing their style, and even making mistakes. They provd time and time again that they are human. I am human, too, and for me the understanding that my idols fuck up too was reassuring. //
Alright, skip ahead to now. I am a junior in high school. I've started thinking about college, and moving out, and financingc and other adult things. I'm not a child anymore, and that is terrifying. My childhood is slowly but surely ending, and I think this whole 1D hiatus/possible lead to breakup pretty much sums that realization up. One Direction has been there for 5 years. They've become a part of me. (Yes this is totally cliché and I'm sORRY). I'm not ready for them to leave, but also I'm not ready to leave home and be a functioning human in society. //
With my emotions high, I want to once again say thank you. A million times, thank you.
Louis-- thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for making me smile. And thank you for holding in what you're feeling just for the sake of your fans. Your constant positivity and smiles are appreciated, but remember, it's ok to do something for yourself.
Niall-- you're 22! Thank you for sharing your birthday with me last night. Thank you for your love and admiration for us directioners. I'm pretty sure you're an angel from heaven.
Liam-- you are probably the most underappreciated man who has ever graced this planet. Your voice sounds like chocolate & sex. Thank you for always being truthful, even if it's sometimes blatant. People like you, with opinions and feelings that they're not afraid to express, are so important.
Zayn-- hey pal. Even though you left the band, I still love you. Things are hard, and I hope you take some time to yourself. Get to know who you are. Sort things others. good luck, old friend.
Harry-- Oh god, Harry, I love you. Thank you for preaching love and acceptance. We need to hear more of that in this world. Thank you for being you. I know that you don't even know I exist, but that's okay. I'm not asking for attention. I just want to thank you for all you've done for me. You've touched my life in more ways than you will ever, ever know. //
I want to love like you made me feel, when we were 18.
~
Alright now for the fun stuff!!
WHERE TO SHOP THIS LOOK:
Dress- Free People (on sale- $30)
Kimono- Charlotte Russe ($22)
Boots- Payless
Choker- Topshop ($12)
Pocketwatch Necklace- Claire's ($17)
Fake Septum Ring- handmade
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