Aspiration, Inspiration, Motivation //

Do you ever have those days where you feel oddly motivated to change yourself and achieve goals and try to become a better person? You can't pinpoint why exactly you suddenly feel like those long-time-coming often-pushed-to-the-back-of-my-mind goals are resurfacing, but all you know is that you want to fulfill them once and for all. If you've felt this way before, then you can totally relate to me right now. //

The last two weeks have quite possibly been the longest two weeks of my life. Things that I did three days ago seem so distant, it feels like I could've done them three years ago. School has been brutal, and my closest friends have been going through some really difficult things as of late. Waking up and facing the day has been gross. Every day, I'd come home from rehearsal (shoutout to the theatre arts) being exhausted. The last couple weeks have kinda been "my goal is to just get through today" period.

For some reason though, today felt so very different. It may have been the fact that I didn't have to wake up til 9:15, so I was rested up. The first thing I did was drink a smoothie. Then I made a deposit at the bank and then got a coffee and donut from Dunkin Donuts. After that, my family and I went to the MFA in Boston, and I took a lot of photographs and learned about artists and fashion and photography and such topics. It was sunny and relatively warm (considering there's still 4 feet of snow on the ground). We then went to Boloco and then drove home. Once home, I literally just got so much work done. I finished application forms and writing thank you cards and writing cover letters and looking for jobs. Then I took a bath to unwind, and then ate some fruit, and now I guess that brings us up to this point, as I am writing this blog post. //

I think what I'm trying to say (maybe possibly), is that it takes the perfect blend of work and play to motivate me. Doing fun things gives me inspiration. The art tells me stories. Taking long baths gives me time to think, and learn by myself. Lunch with the family lets me get closer to those I care about. I can compare the stories of others to my own, and really think about what I want and what I believe.  Getting important things done-- accomplishing "adult" tasks-- seems to motivate me to do more; to be better. Seeing the small successes in front of my eyes is satisfying, and I want that satisfied feeling to last forever.

So, as of today, I promise myself I will be healthier. I will be more open to others. I will find a job. I will work hard. I will be more self-motivated in school work. I will practice good time management. I will practice good financial habits. I will clean my room more often. I will do more chores around the house. I will go outside more (assuming there is not 6 feet of snow on the ground.) I will try to be more patient. I will laugh more. I will love more.
         and even if I fail, I'll keep trying, and eventually I will become the person I aspire to be. //